It started with a poem. Written on a plane. A year ago this month, actually. With the Hollywood Bowl Joni Jam checked off the to-do list and only herself to reckon with, Brandi Carlile embarked on her next adventure... an open horizon into which she flew and an empty page on which she wrote. And thus began the journey of returning to herself and Returning to Myself.
Co-produced by Brandi with Andrew Watt and Aaron Dessner, plus help from Justin Vernon, the album is indeed a return, even as it is also a departure. Returning to Myself gives listeners the most intimate musical view yet of Brandi, with her expansive empathy and unceasing self-reflection on full display within and between the lines of each song. Honesty, honor, humanity... it's all in there. And it's all presented with a vocal approach — main and backing — that has incredible, thoughtful nuance, both from song to song and within the same.
The familiar yet fresh first single/title track/album opener stands as the record's thesis statement of soulful reclamation. Brandi has said, “I wanted to make something that was undeniably and willfully me,” and, with that musical north star, she carries on to do just that.
Deeper in, “Human” and “No One Knows Us” both feature the classic Brandi build a la “The Story.” They start out as easy enough adult rockers. But buckle up, Buttercup, because the band is barreling down the track. (I can already picture the signature BC bounce and hair shake during the live shows!) Don't let the sonic hugeness fool you, though; there are life lessons of courage and compassion carved within them.
Taking it a couple of fist pumps further is “Church & State” in all its U2 arena rock glory. With walls of reverb'd guitars and wails of righteous indignation, this one feels like a hat tip, if not a sequel to, the Indigo Girls' “Go.” This is also where it becomes obvious that Brandi wrote quite a few of these songs right around the 2024 election, as she was — like all of us — reeling in the results. And you can't help but believe her when she roars, “They’re here today, then they’re gone forever... We'll find a way. Imagine if we could.”
Now, as much as I loooooove the rockers, the heart of this record beats in the quieter moments. “A Woman Oversees” leans into an other-worldly choir of Brandis behind a main vocal that has a gently soulful bent which we've rarely heard from her, all in the tender service of a love song like few others. Similarly, “Anniversary” features a raw, vulnerable performance perfectly suited to this poetic sketch of the love she has found in Catherine. As with “Party of One” from By the Way, I Forgive You, it's a realistic recognition, rather than an overly romanticized rendering. This is music for grown-ups, y'all.
The final thematic pairing comes between “A War with Time” and the album's closer, “A Long Goodbye.” Brandi has said, “The whole record, aside from 'Returning to Myself,' is about fighting transitions,” adding, “It borders on an overshare.” And... it does... beautifully, brilliantly. These two tunes fulfill the record's promise, each reaching backward then forward in a quest to grasp life's lessons, as well as the understanding that not all of them are meant to be shared.
If you're reading this, Recording Academy, “A War with Time” gets my vote for 2027(!) Record of the Year. It's a blanket fort of a song that I just want to crawl inside and stay for a while. The Dessner melody under the vocal performance (with that little Sheryl Crow warble on “do-o-or” in the verse) just does it for me. And then — THEN — we get to the Bon Iver-style falsetto stack on the bridge: “Hold their eyes. Make sure they know. Stand your ground, but see the soul beneath the pain and broken home with every drop of rain and bone. Square your shoulders. Turn to stone. Slowly shake your head for no. And when you find yourself alone, retrace your steps and come back home.” This ain't your mama's “always stay humble and kind,” now is it?!
Finally, on “A Long Goodbye,” coupling grief-informed gratitude with hard-earned grace, Brandi wanders through remembrances and imaginings to find that loss can make space for love and life is perfect in its imperfection, even as those losses and imperfections form scar tissue on our hearts. Nowhere is that long-standing pain more evident that when she touches, once again, on her childhood friend's suicide, “We're all just a broken heart away from making a promise that we're forced to keep.” Well done with leaving that gut punch (and the IG Easter egg) until the end, mate.
In 2018, I told Brandi that By the Way, I Forgive You was the record I had been waiting for from her. (She agreed.) It's clear now that By the Way was Brandi just getting started, as each subsequent effort has continued to raise the high-water mark of her artistry. And what an absolute wonder that is to behold. Buckle up again, Buttercup, because she's only 44, so there is a lot more to come.
Listen, I'm ready to call it: With Returning to Myself, the kid will hit the mainstream hard enough to hold her fist into the air and declare a social victory. And I am HERE for it. LFG, BC!
